So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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