i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
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