Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Screwed.edu
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize