I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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