why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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