Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize