maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
