I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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