I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
