Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
