why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
