My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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