he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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