The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
