Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
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