I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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