White coat. Heels.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You can't just leave with hair like that
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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