just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize