how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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