I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
