So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He felt like a one man threesome
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
