Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
