mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
