I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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