just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
She even gives head with a lisp.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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