I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
its not stalking. its research.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
