I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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