But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
