Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
