so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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