yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
