Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
