Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
