That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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