do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
