You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
