He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
