apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
