You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize