Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
