The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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