I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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