I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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