I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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