If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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