im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
