when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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