I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
