peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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