First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Come share oat with me in your robe
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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