How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
