If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
