I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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