D3 body, D1 cock
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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