so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
