VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
