i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
