When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
