HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
