at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize