Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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