If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
