you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
