I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
